Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Non-Photographic Update, sorta...

I've been experiencing something of a stitchy crisis. You know, one of those, "why am I even stitching?" things. I'm still stitching, mostly because I've come down with a demon cold and have nothing better to do but also because Boyfriend loves to watch me stitch. But it's feeling kind of.... hopeless and doesn't amount to anything. Blergh. I know I'll get over it as soon as I get a page finish on something. I got tired of the horses and have been working on Mario. Will post progress pictures soon. Blergh blergh blergh.

On another note, some of you may remember that I did a photo shoot back in June. The photographer I worked with is a dear friend of mine, based in Los Angeles. He is currently in the semi-finals for the RAWards. You can find more info about it by clicking here. The event is in Hollywood and I can't make it, I don't think. If any of you are in the Hollywood area on November 17th and can spare $10, go support John Remus as voting can only be done in person.

I'm going to be honest, I'm kind of freaking out about this, for stupid reasons. My entire life, up through about junior year of college, I was openly called fat, ugly, and a combination of fat and ugly. I may have lost a lot of weight and learned to take care of myself, but I'm going to be honest, it hasn't gone away. I'm constantly striving to lose weight and be "perfect." And now holy crap people are going to be staring at my picture in Hollywood. HOLLYWOOD. And instead of being giddy and excited like a normal girl should be, I'm freaking out. "People are gonna look at me! AAAAAACK!"

Anyway, if you're curious, this is the photo of me that's going to be on display.

And yes, I know, I'm crazy. I should be happy with myself and a lot of women would love to look like me. And I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but when I look in the mirror I only see 40 pounds ago ridicule.

One last thing, I want this series. Cinderella had Fairy Godmother. Why can't I have a stash fairy?

9 comments:

Kaisievic said...

Ewa, your photo is stunning - you have nothing to worry about. Love the Disneyland series - I have added Beauty and the Beast to my wish list.

Hugs, Kaye xoxox

XXXStitching (Emma) said...

Ah we never do shake those teenage taunts. However you look gorgeous and think of your pic on display as a kick back to those who called you. Loving the designs you have on the go can't wait to see progress pics. Where did you get middle earth one? Love LOTR!!!!!

nikkin said...

Girl you are GORGEOUS!!! Don't let anyone tell you any different! And what is on the inside makes all the difference; you are a smart, funny, and talented individual with a wonderful outlook on life. And besides, how many of the people that made fun of you have their pic in HOLLYWOOD? None I bet! Way to go girl, be proud of yourself and your picture, because you are beautiful.

/hugs
Nikki

Joysze said...

Ewa, do you need a loving smack??? You are stunning!!!

Take yourself out of your shoes for a moment and imagine that picture is someone you don't know. Would you not see that and go WOW!!! She's gorgeous? :)

The problem with our society is the whole obsession with being thin, sometimes to the point of looking emancipated.

Your bf loves you and I bet he thinks you're hot. You've lost all that weight, which is no small feat. So.... celebrate YOU girl... who you are and what you've achieved and Hollywood be damned. :)

Minnie said...

You need to get a new mirror and don't worry about what others say. Live your life and have fun.

Cat said...

I know how it feels, I've been through the same exact thing. You are beautiful inside and out - no need to worry about anything! Your picture is absolutely stunning!!

Also, you'll get back your stitchy inspiration I'm sure. And when you do - could you send some my way ;-)

Hugs from Cat.

Heli said...

I wish your love of stitching a speedy recovery! And, of course, the same to you with your cold. :)

You're beautiful, thanks for sharing your pic with us.

Looking forward to stitchy pics!

sharine said...

You look awesome! But it is hard to let go of old feelings about yourself. The Disney series look great.

Maureen said...

that is a fab picture, excellent cheekbones!